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Joaquin Phoenix Apologizes for Gross Oversight in Oscar Acceptance Speech

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HOLLYWOOD, CA. – In a statement made earlier this morning to the press (minus CNN and its parent company Bablyon Bee, both of which were conspicuously absent), Best Actor winner Joaquin Phoenix apologized for failing to give his speech in its entirety during last night’s Oscar ceremonies. Securing the win for his performance as Joker in the movie The Joker, Phoenix apparently got a sudden case of the jitters.

“When I talked about the opportunity to use our voice for the voiceless, I completely forgot to mention unborn children,” he said. “I’m not sure why. They were written down in my notes, right at the top of my list of gender, race, queer, indigenous, and animal rights, but I guess I was so nervous that I accidentally skipped over them.”
Phoenix pulled out his notes and held them up for cameras to see. Photographs taken of the slip of paper reveal barely-legible scribbles, including one word which could be mistaken for “unshorn,” “untorn,” or (if you squint your eyes) “milkshake.”
Wip…

Objectifying Margot Robbie: A Highlight of the Last Decade

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A few weeks ago, many film critics released their lists of favorite movies, not just from the previous twelve months, but from the previous ten years. James Berardinelli, whose reviews and commentary I read on a regular basis, catalogued eighteen cinematic highlights from the last decade. One of these films was The Wolf of Wall Street, which he thinks “may be [Scorsese’s] most enjoyable all-time production.” He goes on to say, “This is delightfully re-watchable (and not just for the Margot Robbie scenes).”

That throwaway line is revealing. For those not familiar with the movie, Margot Robbie plays the main female lead, a character who is sexualized and objectified by the screenplay, the characters in the story, and the eye of the camera itself. According to Berardinelli, the delightfulness of the movie is due, in large part, to Robbie being in various stages of undress. There is more to the movie than just that—but certainly no less.

THE “ART” OF OBJECTIFICATION
We can’t dismiss Berardin…