Confessions of an American Driver

Sometimes, interesting things happen when you’re driving. Below are a few incidents that have taken place in the past couple days. Actually, one of the items below is not true. Can you guess which one? (I’ll eventually let you know.)
  • On my way to work, I must not have been as awake as I thought I was: I came to the four-way stop at Gleason and Gallaher View with no other cars in sight. Nevertheless, I just sat there waiting for the light to change. I finally remembered that there was no light and went on my merry way. When I did reach a stoplight less than a mile down the road, I didn’t immediately realize the light was red. I’m sure the driver of the car I almost hit is thankful I decided to stop.
  • At another red light, I pulled up behind a truck that was filled to almost overflowing with dogs. Yes, dogs. I couldn't count them all. The things is, they were all dead. (Living dogs don’t lie upside down with their legs stiffly raised in the air.) At least, I’m assuming they were dead—either that or they were the most lifelike doggy mannequins I have ever seen. I was officially weirded out.
  • Heading to lunch, I caught a glimpse of a poor squirrel trying to imitate his flying relatives in Australia. He jumped out of a tree by the road at the perfect time, allowing his body to collide with my side mirror. I guess you could say he did fly…sort of.
  • I pulled out of my space in the Wal-Mart parking lot only to be confronted with a truck barreling towards me. At the last moment, he swerved to the left, coming to a stop right next to another parked car. As I headed out of the parking lot, musing on the stupidity of the driver, I almost failed to stop at a stop sign, nearly hitting a poor teenage driver in the process.


Cap...can I get a ride to SPAM tonight?
Cap Stewart said…
Okay, for anyone who's wondering: it's the squirrel story that is false.
Anonymous said…
Whatever, Cap. I know it's the dead dog story. That is SO NOT TRUE!
Cap Stewart said…
Au contraire, anonymous. The dead dog story is TRUE! Scout's honor.