Cappuccino: Culinary Learnings of Starbucks for Make Benefit Glorious Mocha of Raspberry.

At what is now the tail end of the Christmas season, I am reminded of another Manspeak blog “man law” inconsistency. The law states a supposed rule about men drinking coffee: “if it ain’t black, take it back.”

Some background information is pertinent to our discussion. Manspeak is a product of several members of Cornerstone Church of Knoxville (of which I am a member). Cornerstone, in turn, is a part of Sovereign Grace Ministries, a family of churches in six countries. Bill Kittrell is the senior pastor of our church. CJ Mahaney is the head of Sovereign Grace Ministries. Both of these men are godly, wise, and humble leaders. Both would be considered by anyone in SGM to be real men.

Both of these men get their coffee from one place: Starbucks. If you’re familiar with our group of churches, you will know that church leaders in Sovereign Grace have a strong affinity for Starbucks (to put it mildly). Now, one of CJ’s favorite Starbucks concoctions is the raspberry mocha. His has declared that the combination of raspberry and chocolate exploding in his mouth has radically changed his life (yes, his words). Read what he says elsewhere: “Every week, on Sunday evening or Monday morning, I get away to the local Starbucks…[and order] a cup of steaming raspberry mocha.”

If Starbucks is the pinnacle of coffee providers, it is most illogical to say that the majority of drinks Starbucks creates is unacceptable. As the book of James says, “Can both freshwater and saltwater flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” It is against the laws of nature and nature’s God to say that Starbucks is the greatest provider of coffee there is and then say most of what Starbucks offers is unfit for men to drink.

On a couple occasions this Christmas season, I enjoyed a delectable holiday drink: a gingerbread latte from Weigels. (Just kidding, it was from Starbucks.) This piping hot “winter beverage” helped me get into the Christmas spirit. Now, to those who would argue that gingerbread flavored anything is not masculine: have you forgotten that timeless tale of the pastry character made of gingerbread? What is this character’s name? The Gingerbread Woman? The Gingerbread Kid? No, he is The Gingerbread Man. Yes, even the great storytellers of ages past recognized that masculinity and gingerbread are two sides of the same coin.

So, here’s the appropriate man law regarding coffee: “If your java ain’t got flavor, you are doing yourself no favor.”

Comments

James from 5th Grade said…
I never understood why people would torture themselves with the foul tasting black coffee they drank every morning. Well, I was falling asleep in a security briefing one morning (which is a big nono if you didn't know) so I figured I'd try a cup. In a vain attempt to make the office brew taste slightly less terrible, I ended up with half coffee and half cream and sugar. It didn't work. The only other cup I've had since was straight black, let it cool enough to avoid scalding myself, and take it in one pull trying to bypass the tongue. Now I just make sure I've got cash on hand for a Dr. Pepper, because you're right, it's got to have flavor.
Cap Stewart said…
James...Avis? Is that you?